Miscellaneous, Psychology, Self-Care

Emotional Manipulation

This piece about Emotional Manipulation was thought-provoking…especially the section describing when an emotional manipulator “always has it worse than you.” That is something that constantly bugs me – when people complain endlessly and feel like they need to constantly talk about how stressed they are, how much work they have, and how terrible various things are in their life. Are you saying all that to make yourself feel better? Are you saying it so that I’ll feel guilty that I have such a stress-free life compared to you? Are you just venting? Because constantly complaining and playing “Who Has It Worse?” is one of the most annoying qualities a person can have – it’s like a competitive Stress Olympics and in the end there are no winners, only whiners.

Miscellaneous, Psychology, Social Justice

“No news is good news”

Ignorance really is bliss…and I have some experience to show for it. I used to read the news almost religiously – I had a physical subscription to the local newspaper back in the day (what a concept!) plus I spent at least an hour every day reading news online and also had email news alerts set up.

Over the past year I’ve dwindled that down to checking the news online roughly once a week…that’s it! While it may seem like now I’m way less knowledgable about current events (which is undeniably true) – I’ve also felt an emotional burden lifted. Because as we all know, the news is straight-up depressing. I think I felt more guilt-tripped (by my inner anti-capitalist pro-education feminist?) to read the news more than anything else – it was almost like an emotionally-masochistic habit. It was more painful for me to regularly hear about murder, rape, war, disease, destruction, US political woes, human trafficking, and other forms of oppression worldwide – rather than useful or informative in any way.

I’m not encouraging anyone to “be more ignorant” by any means – I guess what I am realizing from my own experience is something really simplistic and survivalist: if something makes you feel bad, don’t do it!


My Jams Right Now

Easy by MOTHRX Indie, elctro, chill, foot-tapping (Also, what does this name mean…?)

Misterwives Reflections remix by Gryffin Those vocals tho, I always want to sing along but then remember it’s impossible for the vocally-challenged/normal people.

Haim’s Falling Remix by Psychemagik  Close your eyes and sway your loose locks and daisy-chains while your rescue pit-bull rolls in the grass

Also – I just stumbled across this sweet new music blog Tuneage! I love soundcloud but sometimes find that the “explore” options for discovering new music are disappointing, so I’m always looking for alternative ways to find out about new stuff (read: fresh beats n dope vocals).


HBO’s ‘Girls’

I’ve been watching Lena Dunham’s series Girls on HBO (that makes it sound really casual, but the reality is I’ve been binge watching all 3 seasons within the past week) and it’s surprisingly relatable in some ways. I waver back and forth between hating and loving the characters – Hannah is both hilarious and representative of a “normal” twenty-something girl and also dripping in privilege and ridiculously self-involved. And annoying. When she ruptures both her eardrums with Q-tips I can say that I relate – haven’t you ever wanted to do something that you knew was bad for you? Scratching the itch feels so good in the moment…

Writing in a blog makes me feel like Hannah – which is pretty embarrassing because I find it so obnoxious that she insists on becoming a writer when she’s broke, clueless, and her talents as a writer are untested and probably overestimated. Why doesn’t she get a “real” job with a salary and some health benefits so she can stop mooching off her uptight parents and then just write on the side?

When Marnie was listening to Eckart Tolle’s The Power of Now on audiobook while she made a smoothie – it was also embarrassing, entertaining, and comforting to realize that I can relate so much to that scene. I totally put yogurt, juice, and banana into a blender while Tolle’s voice told me that there is nothing else that exists other than the moment we are in right now…and now…and now. And now.

My favorite character may be Jessa because her free-spirit and unapologetic brokenness is twisted and yet inspiring. You can get divorced and go to rehab and have your life fall apart multiple times – but also be so carefree, strong, and comfortable in your own skin. Jessa is tough but in a Burning Man kind of feminine way that I think needs more screen time.

I just started season 3 so no spoilers quite yet! And even though I resisted identifying as a fan of this show…I definitely will be ready for season 4 of Girls when it starts in early 2015. (Actually I’ll be ready in a few days – so feel free to speed the process along Lena, thanks!)

& TV shows, Books, Generation Y, Intersectionality, Miscellaneous, Movies, Psychology

Growing up with “The Challenge”

After listening to Grantland‘s latest podcast that featured a nostalgic and ego-filled interview of Johnny Bananas from MTV’s The Challenge – I’ve recently gotten back into the show and have been watching the classic seasons. I’m talkin’ pooka shell choker necklaces, sideways caps, & mohawks…these were even the days before they had T-Mobile Sidekicks. I just finished Fresh Meat I which was a little mind-blowing because the OGs of today’s Challenge were the fresh meat back in 2006. It’s fascinating – like watching 10-year-old home video of your friends being rowdy, except you might love these people but can’t manage to respect them and you suspect they’re insane but can’t look away. So many thoughts…

  • Did anyone actually ever watch Road Rules? (I had to read the wikipedia page to familiarize myself with it because I had only ever heard that it was a “moving Real World” that MTV aired in the 90’s)
  • Wes went on National television with a legitimate mohawk… 
  • The challenges back in the day were cake compared to what they are now! Back in the early 2000’s they had to slather themselves with oatmeal and hold onto ropes for as long as possible…nowadays the final challenge is comparable to straight up torture; it often involves several stages of rafting, running, swimming, biking, rock-climbing, and/or hiking while the castmates are deprived of proper sleep and food for 24+ hours
  • Wes may be mentally ill…Scratch that, many of these people may suffer from some form of mental illness involving delusions of grandiosity and self-importance. But hey MTV is their enabler, so who can blame em?
  • TJ did not even try that hard in the early days, he’s really stepped up his game in pretending to care about the castmates and the show in general
  • The sexism in these shows is pretty terrifying at times…whether it’s digs at women being “weak” and “worthless” or male cast-members screaming “hurry up you stupid bitch!” at their female team members. Scary stuff – props to the women that defy stereotypes by kicking ass and confronting the sexism in the show

All in all – a classic show that is so entertaining because it builds a bubble so small and so removed from real life that these people are actually brought to the brink of humanity. This show has everything from love stories to rivalries to the risk of mortal injury…watching these shows is how I imagine the Romans felt sitting in the Colosseum to watch gladiators fight to the death. It’s gruesome, it’s shameful, and it feels sooo good.